What exactly is this all about?
It involves two friends or acquaintances coming together and having a clear understanding that all they both want from each other is Sex and nothing more. Both parties may or may not be in other relationships.
One party might be in a relationship while the other is not. Regardless of what the situation is, they both know what the score is and ideally, should not have expectations of the relationship beyond that.
For many different reasons, the friends with benefits syndrome has gained a lot more popularity in recent times, mostly due to the scarcity of Relationship prospects in the cut-throat world of Dating. Another reason is that a lot of people have had bad experiences in conventional relationships, and so have embraced this more self-fulfilling form as a way of taking ownership of their sexual experience.
This syndrome has its Pros and Cons, just like with every single endeavor in life; I’ll run you through some of these now:
Pro #1: Freedom from Commitment is possibly the greatest Pro of all when it comes to being ‘friends with benefits with someone. No-one feels used, because no initial promises were made. Let’s face it, EVERYONE likes to have their cake and eat it. Offering a guy MAD sex from a HOT chick, without any form of commitment, is like telling a little child that Santa is not only real, but is moving into his bedroom with him. Like seriously, as a guy, if I didn’t suffer from the gross inconvenience of a conscience, I would have me a whole harem of ‘Friends with Benefits’. As in really, why not?! I make no promises, have no expectations of the other person and she’s dishing it out to me when, where, and however I want it?! Sheeeettttt…
Pro #2: The fact that a person agreed at all to being friends with benefits automatically clears out the liberty to have any unrealistic expectations of the other person. It will be a total breach of contract for a friend with benefit to angrily scream at the other person, “Why have you not been picking up my calls?” or “Why were you flirting with that other person in front of me?” friends with benefits and demands are two concepts that operate on very opposing poles of the Relationship World Order. Oh the bliss of a Demand-free life…
Pro #3: Life can get a little Lonely sometimes. I can relate with that right now, and sometimes, I just want the comfort of good intimate company. Being friends with benefits allows the killing of two Guinea fowls with one Rocket Launcher. Sex and the need for Companionship met at one go!!
Pro #4: The process of Dating can be a looonnggg thing!! friends with benefits spare each other the long drawn- out process of candle-lit dinners, running along the Beach-front Nollywood style, feeding each other in a fast-food restaurant, wondering if ‘He/She is that into you’ or not, and every other Dating Palaver there is. It’s simply “Wham…come around lets get down Ma’am?!”
Pro #5: Guys and Girls alike, suffer from what is known as performance Anxiety. “Would she laugh when she discovers I’m a 30-second man?” “How would he react when he sees that the Savannah Rain Forest has nothing on me down there?” the desire to make a good impression can often take away the pleasure of sexual unity between two people who are in the conventional dating game. But with friends with benefits, you are so intent on getting pleasure, that flabs can actually be viewed as the most beautiful thing EVER!!
So let me stop there with the Pros, before I’m mistaken to be the official Ambassador for friends with benefits, lol.
Now to the Cons…
Con #1: One major disadvantage about being friends with benefits with someone is that the situation can go on forever!! It can get so comfortable and just go on and on until you realize that you’ve actually become stuck in it. One or both parties would still have their friends with benefits on the side through any serious relationships they enter. It can be pretty difficult to get rid of a friend with benefits no matter how hard you try. It’s like having a secret thrill that is always available for you whenever you need it, so letting go is a problem on its own.
Con #2: The Ultimate downside of friends with benefits is the demon of Feelings. One way or the other, in most situations, emotional baggage must enter. Then, one party begins to feel short-changed by the other party. The initial comfort becomes compromised and then resentment sets in. This is most common especially with the girls…it’s not easy especially when you see the guy actually committing himself to someone else. You then begin to wonder what is wrong with you that didn’t allow him to see you as someone worth committing to.
Con #3: Another downside attached to feelings is that when someone practicing friends with benefits catches the‘Emotional Bug’, they most likely will try as much as possible to suppress it, for fear that expressing what they feel to the other person may cause them to lose the person totally. So they endure hardship, while all the while pretending like all is cool and they really don’t want more from the relationship.
Con #4: One advantage of an IDEAL friends with benefits situation is the secrecy involved. Not everyone needs to know. But seeing that a lot of Guys (especially) only feel relevant when they brag about their conquests, they go out pointing out their Keles to the whole world, forgetting the fact that society judges women more harshly for the sins of both the man and woman. So a Girl who was just set out to have some fun by indulging in a ‘harmless escapade’ gets labeled a WHORE just because someone wanted to feel important.
Con #5: This happens a lot with guys and also with girls, depending on the individuals involved. People get very territorial when the prefix ‘MY’ is attached to something. Even if it’s ‘MY Kele’, ‘MY Scrobo’, or ‘MY Booty Call’, it’s human nature not to want anyone else to cross that territorial Boundary. It takes a very generous guy to want to share any of his ‘Keles’ with other people. So the other person feels trapped and it then becomes a question of “You don’t WANT me, but you also don’t want any other person to want me”. Na there WAHALA dey begin
I hope with these few points of mine I have been able to clearly point out what the whole friends with benefits story is all about, Thank you
lmao
