Wednesday 11 January 2017

Wunzzzz

I've thought of many ways to write what I'm about to say.... I've actually composed an epistle and cleared it before finally deciding to just to you start I'm doing Sha.

I thought back to when @seusco and @debbiedee4 were getting married and remembered the chief bridesmaid that was forming (although you claim otherwise, it's my story and I'm sticking with it). I even remember how @t2o0m1i3 and I were gisting the night before the white wedding and I just mentioned you in passing and he said abeg free her.

Monday 20 April 2015

Random Musings


1. Although people often check the expiration date before putting a piece of food in their mouth, they rarely do the same for the people they bring into their lives and beds. Relationships—platonic and romantic—are like food for the soul, so read people’s labels carefully before consuming years of their BS.

2. Everybody says they want love everlasting but very few are willing to do what it takes to earn it let alone keep it when they actually have love in hand.

3. You can never blame someone else for a decision that you made willingly because the choice was and always will be yours alone. The time you would spend doubting yourself can be better served by making sure you don’t repeat past mistakes.

4. Fear is a necessary challenge on the path to success. It can either stand in your way or be the thing that you stand on while rising to the next level.

5. Most people don’t understand the subtle yet major difference between a want and a need.

6. In the grand scheme of things, a wandering eye isn’t as much of a problem in a relationship as a wandering heart is. #LookButDontTouch

7. No matter how much talking is involved, people can’t communicate if no one is listening.

8. It makes no sense to ask for something you haven’t earned, but people still do anyway.

9. The older you get the more people you know and less true friends you have.

10. There are basically three kinds of people in this world: Those who are inspired by the success of others; those jealous of the success of others; those who are actually successful and could care less about the other two.

11. You should never be afraid of training your replacement unless you have no desire to evolve beyond your current position.

12. No matter how good someone’s life looks through the filtered lens of social media know that his/her reality is likely much different and far less fabulous.

13. I might not do things just to hear “thanks/thank you,” but I appreciate appreciation just as much as the next person.

14. The people you let closest to your heart are also the ones who can cut you the deepest.

15. I never want to be the smartest person in the room because that means I’m in the wrong room.

16. The greatest life lessons are not in the challenges we face but the ones we overcome.

17. Happiness is a choice (but some might disagree).

18. There’s a huge difference between compromising and settling. The former is necessary, while the latter is depressing.

19. Fatherhood is something that scares me. Not just because of my fear of failing at it (emotionally more than anything) but also because we still live in a world where we have to say #BlackLivesMatter.

20. A goal with no clear plan is just a dream.

21. If you’re not willing to lead by example, then you’re just in the way.

22. Sometimes loving yourself is harder than loving someone else, but both need to happen if either relationship stands a chance of succeeding.

23. You have to be hungry to eat at the table of success.

24. No matter how hectic things get you always have to make time for family, true friends and yourself.

25. Anything or anyone worth having is worth fighting for. There are no shortcuts for what is earned.

26. We have no choice when it comes to family, but that doesn’t mean everyone in your family can or should be trusted.

27. Someone who only falls in love with looks will never be able to see what real love looks like.

28. People don’t change overnight they change a little bit every single day based on their experiences, it’s just a matter of whether or not you’ve been paying attention.

29. No problem in a relationship was ever solved by keeping it to yourself, so speak up and speak often.

30. Losing weight isn’t about waiting around for it to miraculously leave, you have to get up off your behind and start packing its bags.

31. A drunk man tells no lies but if someone in your life has to be drunk to be truthful with you then maybe you need better friends.

32. The fairytale ending of happily ever after is misleading. Eternal happiness only comes after you do the work and continue doing it each and every day.

33. There is no such thing as a perfect marriage/relationship. Every couple will be faced with some sort of adversity that will either fracture their union or help forge an even tighter bond. The outcome is ultimately dependent on both partners’ commitment to the relationship.

34. There’s a lesson to be learned in every mistake, just some of us are quick learners and others not so much.

35. Sometimes finish lines are just starting lines in disguise.

36. Every day is an opportunity to learn something new. If you go to bed without gaining some sort of new knowledge or perspective perhaps you need to reflect on your day a little bit harder.

37. A thought is not a decision until you take action.

38. If every wish came true you would never learn to appreciate what you got the hard way.

Speak your piece…

Wednesday 15 October 2014

30 Things I've Learnt

OK so i was going through a few blogs some days ago and was inspired to do this by a post I read.
I've been alive for 30 years now, and I'm gonna put out something I've learnt directly or indirectly for every year that I have lived.

Enjoy

Tuesday 14 October 2014

5 Things Men Say, And What They Really Mean



There has always been lists about the 5 dreaded things women say, and what they really mean, now Im here to do a list from the side of the guys and what they mean too.

Enjoy

Wednesday 8 October 2014

20 Facts About iCereal

1. I have a degree in Business Information Systems and an Advanced Diploma in Software Engineering

2. My default mode is LAZY!!! and I absolutely love it

3. I think I'm more nonchalant than the word itself

4. I find watching television an absolute waste of my time

5. I am extremely shy (no one ever believes this but its true)

6. My thoughts run very wild in split seconds. I happen to see the pun in everything

7. I careless about football, I'd rather waste my time in some other way

8. I love to dance. I used to be really good at it but the age thing (yes I'm OLD) has caught up with me

9. I look at least 5 years younger than my original age. So if you're trying to get my age, just add 5 more years to it and you're more likely to be right.

10. I am an absolute dare devil. I always wonder, whats the worst that can happen?

11. I can daydream for the whole world

12. I get to surprise people a lot with my personality. Reason being that I'm put in the category of geeks cos of my glasses and I'm the exact opposite

13. I live in front of my computer. There's always something to do there

14. I DON'T like going to the cinema.

15. I did TV commercials as a kid and featured in some episodes of Papa Ajasco

16. I tease people a lot

17. The more witty you are, the better we will get along.

18. I HATE following rules, so as a result I always get into a lot of trouble.

19. I hope/hoped (not sure of which tense to use now because nothing is impossible) to be a Nigerian Airforce Personnel someday

20. I love anything that can be refered to as a drum....yes, ANYTHING (let your imagination run wild)

#OkBye

Monday 5 May 2014

Just Call Her Wuli...

You know the way you write stuff up in anticipation of what you hope for, I wrote this note a long time ago while I was kinda hoping for something good and although I had seen people, there was always something missing. 

I met this young lady a while ago at a friends wedding and we never really hit it up until the wedding was over and one thing led to another thing and I can confidently say that my heart is at rest. We have had our moments but in the end we just talk and don't let silly things break our happiness. We have been at this for a while now and I have decided to re-write this for her cos right now and forever, it's always gonna be about her.

a. She is not sexy, fine, or a dyme but she is BEAUTIFUL and therefore encompasses all of these descriptions. 
b. She is intelligent, sassy, funny, outgoing, determined, strong and classy. 
c. She can cook very well
d. Her personality is just as beautiful as her body. 
e. She believes in God and follows his virtues. 
f. She knows that a relationship requires a 200% quota yet she gives an extra 10%. 
g. She pleases me in anyway and every way possible.  
h. She makes me recognize my full potential as a man and completes me. 
i. She's always there for me, even with all my crazy dreams. She may not like it but she still supports me. 
j. She's not afraid to tell me the truth and set me straight. 
k. I can talk to her and confide in her, she's my best friend. 
l. I love being around her. 
m. I have actually shared some of my most intimate moments with her without sex. 
n. Truthfully, She's nothing like any other girls I've met. She's my woman....and I just call her Wuli...

Monday 4 March 2013

Ladies, Listen up...

This is just a random video I stumbled on and it absolutely reeks of truth. Pardon the swearing but listen to her...



Lemme know what y'all think

Tuesday 12 February 2013

Memoirs

Dearest Chioma


This letter was collated and consolidated by my phalanges as a directly proportional result of the exponential growth of my liver that thus inspired and uplifted me to pick up my pen just like my learned colleagues and thus to write words upon this parchment and address them to you not withstanding that I was compelled to have to been forced to typeset it in a beautiful font and therefore dictated it to Mufutau the business center man opposite the school gate to type and print it for you. I am hopeful that God willing and favor smiling upon me accordingly and lovingly, I will be able to summon the courage to approach you after you have set your diamond beautiful eyes to read this letter. The overwhelming and engulfing and supreme and overall truth is that I hope and pray you are in a great mood whenever you get this, if so… Doxology.

Why this miraculous and spontaneous and pulchritudinous thing happened is because Chioma, I must confess that I am in love with you. Your name is like a ray of sunshine in my life. You are my clear skies and umbrella after the storm, the saccharine in my tea, the apple of both my two eyes and to be perfectly forthrightly truthful, in fact if I were the owner of this computer you would have be the only icon on my desktop.

It’s been almost two years since I first laid my eyes on you, in Mr. Ajakaye’s maths class to be perfectly and accurately precise. From the very moment I saw you, my heart skipped a beat and started pounding faster than it normally does. You have been affecting my biology and chemistry and mathematics internally. I mean, even the almighty formula cannot explain how I felt whenever I saw you walk down the corridor in that your green pinafore. You always left me in a state of discombobulation. Now that we are in senior class, the pinafore is gone and your curves now properly accentuated by your skirt and blouse, my body does jigbijigbi whenever I see you.  You are the perfect perfection of a perfect woman.

I can’t stop thinking about you. You see babe, normally, when I am feeling like this I just buy meatpie and Fanta and take and then say “I like You, Talk Your Own”. It has normally been working on all the girls in arts and commercial class, but in your case, you are special and I have to be powerfully meticulous in my approach to winning your heart because you are a very sophisticated girl.

Chioma, I love you and since Valentine’s Day is fast approaching I want to use this special opportunity to ask you to be my Val. Please tell me yes and make this boy the luckiest boy in the whole World Wide Web.

Chioma, my love for you is like American hot dog and burger in the summer time. Let me promise you something, angel. If you accept to be mine we will be together forever like white on rice. You and I will be like red on blood. Even though you do not currently have it, you have ownership of my mumu switch. My senior sister will soon come back from France and I have told her to buy you special perfume. You see, I will do anything for you. I know that even if I roam the entire middle earth, I won’t find another like you. Have you seen the movie, Titanic? What Jack did for Rose is nothing but a speck of dust compared to what I can do for you. I will buy you things from the E! channel, take you to places on national geographic, baby girl, we will even watch the sun set together at Ogombo beach.

If you agree for this our love to shine bright like a diamond, I will be the pampers to your abdulmutallab, I will never go off on you, even though you are the bomb. Your eyes shine at the shimmer of the moon. Your lips are as beautiful as a red rose. Your hair is so elegant and as beautiful as the sky. You yourself make my day when I am having a bad day. The rose represents your beauty. The moon represents your intelligence. You are as beautiful as the stars that light out every night. Every day I get to see you grow more beautiful. Every time I get close to you my stomach feels as if I have butterflies in my stomach. That is the feeling I have for you.

Please say yes and be my Val, I promise to make all the other girls in the school and this local government in general jealous of you. If you doubt my legitimacy, just ask about me at the local council, near the canteen. I am not a bad boy or heartbreaker or a liar or any other nefarious and notorious type of boy.

I look forward to your favorable response, my love and light. Till then I remain Iskilu “The Cool-Kid” from SS 1B.

Love and kisses

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox


Kolawole ‘Isikilu’ Adeola

Class Prefect of SS1B

Source TheNakedConvos

Friday 26 October 2012

Wear Sunscreen


Ladies and Gentlemen of the class of '97,
Wear sunscreen. If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it. The long term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists, whereas the rest of my advice has no basis or reliable then my own meandering experience.

"Okay, it starts off funny, and straight away, you know this is not a song that sits on its own high horse!"

Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth. Oh, never mind, you won't understand the power and beauty of your youth until they've faded, but trust me in 20 years, you'll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can't grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked. You are not as fat as you imagine.

One of the reasons i try to do almost everything my spirit and soul leads me to do, is because i do not want to wake up when i am 50, and regret NOT doing something.
A lot of times, we forget how powerful we are, what strength lies in being YOUNG.
The mind stays active forever i believe, as long as you keep stimulating it; but the body will shut down. So while the mind and the body are active, why not give them something to talk about?

Don't worry about the future, or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubblegum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind: the kind that blindsides you at 4pm on some idle Tuesday.

Do one thing every day that scares you.

EVERY. SINGLE. DAY.
It is not that easy oh.
Not just something you are uncomfortable with, but one thing, every day that totally scares you?
WOW!

Sing.
Don't be reckless with other people's hearts; don't put up with people who are reckless with yours.

Floss.
Don't waste your time on jealousy. Sometimes you're ahead, sometimes you're behind. The race is long, and in the end, it's only with yourself.

Remember compliments you receive; forget the insults. (if you succeed in doing this, tell me how).

Ha. Ha. Ha.
He gives you great advice, but in the same breath, he lets you know that he does not in any way, think it is easy.

Keep your old love letters; throw away your old bank statements.
Stretch.
Don't feel guilty if you don't know what you want to do with your life. The most interesting people I know didn't know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives; some of the most interesting 40 year olds I know still don't.
Get plenty of Calcium. Be kind to your knees -- you'll miss them when they're gone.

Maybe you'll marry, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll have children, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll divorce at 40; maybe you'll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary.

Whatever you do, don't congratulate yourself too much or berate yourself, either. Your choices are half chance, so are everybody else's.

When you do something right, enjoy it. then move on.
When you make a mistake, rue it, then move on.
Stop hanging on to every victory and every setback.
Since we can never be certain, any decision we make could have gone either way, and you do not know what lies further down right?
SO remember, there are no good or bad or perfect decisions; just choices that work.

Enjoy your body: use it every way you can. Don't be afraid of it or what other people think of it; it's the greatest instrument you'll ever own.

Dance...even if you have no where to do it but in your own living room.

Read the directions (even if you don't follow them).

Do not read beauty magazines; they will only make you feel ugly.

Get to know your parents; you never know when they'll be gone for good.
Be nice to your siblings: they're your best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future.

Understand that friends come and go, but what a precious few should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps and geography and lifestyle, because the older you get, the more you need the people you knew when you were young.

Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard.
Live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft.

Travel.

Accept certain inalienable truths: prices will rise, politicians will philander, you too will get old; and when you do, you'll fantasize that when you were young, prices were reasonable, politicians were noble, and children respected their elders.

We always sit around and talk about how the kids growing up now aren't going to enjoy certain things, and are more exposed than we were.
We remember NEPA fondly, and think about when coke was N5.
And then we listen to our parents talk about their time.
Brother, let us just say, that conversation happens from generation to generation!

Respect your elders.

Respect your elders.
In some situations, it is not that easy, but respect your elders.
But someone please tell me, who are my 'ELDERS'?

Don't expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund, maybe you'll have a wealthy spouse, but you never know when either one might run out.

Don't mess too much with your hair or by the time you are 40, it will look 85.

Be careful whose advice you buy, but be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia; dispensing it is a way of wishing the past from the disposal--wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts, and recycling it for more than it's worth.

But trust me, I'm the sunscreen.

Tuesday 31 July 2012

My Ideal Woman


She is not sexy, fine, or a dyme but she is BEAUTIFUL and therefore encompasses all of these descriptions.

She is intelligent, sassy, funny, outgoing, determined, strong and classy.

She can cook or at least order a meal that is just like your mother's.

Her personality is just as beautiful as her body.

She believes in God and follows his virtues.

She knows that a relationship requires a 200% quota yet she gives her man an extra 10%.

She can please her man in anyway. Mentally, Spiritually, and Sexually.

She makes you recognize your full potential as a man and completes you.

She's always there for, no matter what your dreams are.

She's not afraid to tell you the truth and set you straight.

You can talk to her and confide in her, she's your best friend.

You love being around her more than your boys.

You can share your most intimate moments with her without sex.

You can have a bad argument with her and then have the BEST Mind Numbing and passionate love making
fest ever.

She's always willing to find a way to work out your problems and will often take most of your shit. But she's also intelligent enough to leave.

She's nothing like any other girls you've met. She's your woman. THE RIGHT ONE!!!